Everything I Thought I'd Be: A Letter To My Future Husband On The Night Before Our Wedding

Dear Future Husband,

I started writing these letters to you ten years ago. I was in my basement with a bunch of my girlfriends, and we decided that night to promise ourselves to our future husbands. Some of us kept the promise, some of us didn't. But either way, that's when it began for me - my love for you, that is. From that moment on I dreamed about you. I dreamed about your perfection, your protection, your personality and your purity. I dreamed about myself too. I dreamed about everything you would make me - about how I would become a hospitable wife, be full of grace and have meals on the table every night. I dreamed about the way you would always think of me and show me you love me, even when I was an emotional (yet still somehow beautiful) mess.

I've since realized that no man is perfect in every way, and that's actually okay with me. I've realized that you need encouragement and support, that you are going to mess up, and that I need to give you second, third, and fourth chances. I'm okay with it all.

But, future husband, I'm not perfect either. Oh, how I wish I was. How I wish I wasn't an emotional rollercoaster, that I cared a little more about my hair, and that I had an unlimited supply of energy for each day. How I wish I was never angered, that I would always put you first, and that I never forgot to lift you up.

See, I didn't only imagine you were the ideal husband. I imagined I would be the ideal wife. I imagined we would have an ideal marriage, an ideal life. But, my love, we need to remember that we cannot expect perfection - because neither of us can achieve that. Neither of us can make the other perfect.

This has been hard for me, being a perfectionist and all. Sometimes - actually most times - I think I can make things work my way. If I just communicated a little better, tried a little harder, loved a little more... then it would all be perfect. What I've learned is that I'm lying to myself when I say that. Neither of us will ever be Jesus, and He is the only one who is perfect.

So, on this night before forever, I am praying that we will release ourselves from the burden of expectations. I am praying that we will not expect perfection from each other, but that we will show patience and kindness. And I am praying that we never forget how blessed we are, with more than we could ever ask for. Where we are lacking in an ideal marriage, we will be always abounding in Real Grace - and that is more than I could ever hope for.

I'm really nervous about starting our new life together. But I'm also really excited. We are going to be a wonderful team, and I am confident in God's perfect plan for us.

See you tomorrow, future husband. I can't wait to be your wife.


-kj❀